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What Next?

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I have been going through a restless state for the last few months. Finally, I decided to take some time and assess my thoughts.  After much thought and pondering, I realized something, It’s not that I’m unhappy, it’s that I’m not satisfied.  What a revelation.  I try to live everyday in a state of gratitude and be thankful for what I have.  Being an American and being blessed enough to live in a city I love, New York, I know that I live a tremendous blessing everyday, yet something is still missing.  I’ve concluded it is an internal issue and not an external one.  In other words, the problem lies within me and only I can fix it.  Step one is acknowledging that change is needed.  My goal now becomes to figure out exactly what changes I need to make.  This is a more difficult task because the world is full of choices and I am not sure exactly which direction I want to take.  Right now I envy people who know exactly what they want and go after it.  It’s such a nice thing to know about yourself.  I do not have my whole life ahead of me, just the rest of it.  I am probably already at least half way through my life and need to feel I’m accomplishing something.  It’s not that I haven’t accomplished anything, it’s that I haven’t accomplished anything significant lately.  I have accomplished many things in my life such as raising a child, getting a great education including Grad school, experienced success and  (failure) and have traveled some.  All of these things are in my past.  I don’t feel like I’ve done much lately and I need to change that.  This blog is one way for me to express myself and reach out.  Sharing the good things in life is one of things that makes me feel good and I am happy to do it.   It doesn’t matter if only a few enjoy it and appreciate it, that is enough for me to continue to do it.  I’m looking for that feeling on a much larger scale where I feel like I make a difference while I’m still here!!!  Thank you for following me and for making me feel like I am doing something that matters at the moment even if it’s a small thing like sharing a recipe!!!!

 

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2 thoughts on “What Next?

  1. Interesting….. I have been in Italy recently for a month and spent that time having similar thoughts. Like you, my life has been successful, I have achieved a lot and am thankful for what I have been given, but I am equally thankful for the things I have not been given and surprisingly so, thankful for the things I have had taken away, not sure that makes sense but those thoughts were at the same time comforting but left me unsure of where I should go next. I have spent most of my life pleasing others, which I don’t regret but now I feel I should do something for me. Although I live in the UK my heart has always been in Italy and I believe that is where I should be for the remainder of my life. I know that will upset and surprise some people, but do I now take a selfish attitude and go? Still not sure but I have to make a decision!!!!!! Good luck to you and I hope whatever drives you sends you in the direction you feel you need to go.

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